VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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