Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
