I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
