We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
