No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
