after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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