TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
