im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
