then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
