the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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