Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
