Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize