i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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