my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
