if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
