don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize