I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
