was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Shame is for Republicans.
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