you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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