Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
