Your dad touched me again.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
