He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
