I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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