just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
