dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
