i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
