He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize