They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
