So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
