Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
