New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
