This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize