ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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