i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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