He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
