You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
