Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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