i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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