apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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