Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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