You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize