Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
