You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
