Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
