Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was confusing and full of hummus
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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