Your dad touched me again.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
