I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
