...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
