omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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