Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
