Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
a search helicopter?!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
