he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize