But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I will die if light touches me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
