You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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