Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
