Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
