just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
