You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
