I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize