More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
