Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
