How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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