You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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